You have options, you know.

  • You don’t have to listen to the experts.
  • You don’t have to read the newspaper.
  • You could do yoga without paying anyone.
  • You could take a job that pays less than what you were offered elsewhere.
  • You could forgo the university credentials and just start reading things that interest you. You could spend 3 hours a day reading.
  • You could stop trying to get a “real job”. You could put all the time you spent on job applications toward something you enjoy and plan for a life at $7 an hour.
  • You could write down what’s on your mind right now. You’re on tumblr after all.
  • You could unplug your computer right now and go throw it in a dumpster.
  • You could file the paperwork to start a limited liability corporation. It’s under $100 in Indiana.
  • You could floss your teeth. It’s a good idea, trust me.
  • You could just start walking. Straight. Take money. Walk through places you normally don’t go. Walk until you reach a different municipality. When you get hungry, buy some food. When you get tired, buy some black trash bags and make a sleeping bag. Find a porch or a tree you can sleep under. Walk until you reach a mountain, or a body of water. Walk until you feel like not walking that direction anymore.
  • You could bake brownies and then give them away.
  • You could stop breathing right now. Hold your breath until you wonder if you’re trying to hold it or trying to see what happens if you don’t stop.
  • You could go for a swim.
  • You could propose marriage. If you can’t right now, then you could within a few minutes. If you didn’t have someone in mind already, you could maybe find someone you’ve never met on the street. Or the old man who lives four houses down.
  • You could meditate for half an hour a day.
  • You could stop showing up at work. You don’t really even need to formally quit; they’ll fire you eventually. Just—cease to continue doing exactly what you were doing. If your boss calls to ask where the hell you are, you could answer the phone and explain.
  • You could tell your boss you’re sick, tell your kids to play hooky, and spend the day doing something fun together.
  • You could keep showing up at work. You could learn to like your job. You could believe that being rootless, quitting whenever you want, moving all the time, and not embedding yourself in a place—is just as much of a prison if not more—than having a mortgage, kids, stable job, the whole catastrophe.
  • You could make a baby.
  • You could go buy something you’ve never thought about buying before.
  • You could eat vegetarian for half of your meals and save quite a bit of money.
  • You could find a low-paying job and never quit it. You could just keep working there and not care what the people with “better” ambitions for your life say.
  • You could start dancing in public.
  • You could ask the person next to you on the subway how they’re doing.
  • You could try to meet people who know none of your friends and make up a completely false life story and personality for yourself. You could learn an accent and say you’re from a different continent. You could tell people your name is ‘Rain’.
  • Right now, you could call someone you’re afraid to talk to.

Life will continue on, at a constant rate of one second per second.

update: more options

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